December 14, 2003

Saddam The Wino Thinks He's Spiderboy

After looking at pictures of Saddam's little spiderhole I have come to the conclusion he was listening to my song "spiderboy." It took army men dressed as spiders to go down and get him. Therefore, I am going to sue Saddam Hussein for ripping me off. U.S. intelligence sent me satellite images to my V.W. van last night as I drove from Ramona. What the newspapers aren't telling you is that he was listening to my song over and over and telling himself everything would be o.k. Apparently he had translated my song into a rare Bathist dialect and was selling bootleg copies to his minions. Therefore, I feel I am due royalties that should be collected out of the 750,000 smackeroos that were found on his wannabe spider body. I am due 6 and three quarter cents for each copy sold and my sources in Iraq tell me there were dozens err I mean millions sold. So the way I look at it is I am due aboot half of the cash stash. Give me 375,000 and I'll call it a wash. I've decided not to ask for more for the mental trauma this has caused me. This is all I'm allowed to comment on for now. I am still awaiting some top secret intelligence info from my C.I.A. operatives. Hopefully we'll be able to resolve this issue in a timely manner. By the way, Saddam looks like this wino that used to sleep outside the market where I used to bag groceries when I was in high school in Palm Springs. I hated that wino because he used to get drunk and try to grab my weiner. One time I kicked him in the kneecap. In other news...

Thankyou to the fine citizens of Ramona California. You guys are tops in my book. I had such a fine time playing in your wonderful town. I will definitely be back when my voice has healed and the flu has vacated my body. Cheers is a fine tavern and Sean Leahy a fine publican. Last night was wonderful. Ramona is surely going to be the next Seattle. No strike that... Seattle is going to be the next Ramona.


Steven "the real spiderboy" Poltz

Posted by steve at December 14, 2003 7:44 AM


Saddam is loaded, you could make a fortune!

Posted by: Danne at December 14, 2003 1:01 PM

Hello from storm-ravaged Halifax, Nova Scotia, where I have returned after years of touring with Hungarian orchestras all over the U.S.

When last we met at the Borderline in London, Saddam was of little to no concern, and will no doubt return to the nothing from whence he came.

Meanwhile, here's hoping there will be more health and wealth for you in the future!

Remembering you, and wishing you the best, as ever. Thanks for the warmth, the music and the smiles! Have a wonderful Holiday Season!


Posted by: Joy at December 15, 2003 12:05 PM

I remember that wino at vons, but he never tried to grab my weiner maybe I wasnt his type. I never kicked him but I did throw rotten produce on him when he was in the dumpster . Didnt know he was in there it scared me.

Posted by: bagboy at December 15, 2003 8:47 PM

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