January 30, 2004

van crash and stolen shoes

I had a feeling things were going to be a little weird on this leg of the tour. I came back from skiing with a bruised tailbone and then my St. Christopher broke and I took it off. I went to take my van in to get a tune up at the V.W. dealer and I crashed it while backing up. I broke their metal hand rail and smashed in the back of my van. I did this in front of all the car salesmen and their customers. I was waving to the guy who sold me my van and yelling "Hi Derrick!" And then BAM!! All of the people in the car lot came running over to me to see if I was o.k. What an idiot. So now I am in a rental and I should get my van back by Valentines Day. Even the guy at Geico laughed at me.

Then in Iowa I figured I would go to yoga to stretch my sore tailbone and the whiplash and when I came out of the class my shoes were gone. Who steals shoes from a yoga studio? I had to walk in the snow to a nearby mall to buy some shoes and my feet were frostbitten. I felt like a soldier in the civil war in the middle of winter. (just kidding aboot that part.) the kind girl at the yoga studio actually loaned me a pair of womens shoes and drove me to the mall. I felt like a crossdressing steetwalker. I kind of liked it.

It turns out that this one guy came out of the yoga class and was so dazed that he picked up my shoes and put them in his wife's bag and walked out wearing his birkenstocks. The next morning when he woke up he was going to use his wife's bag for somthing and saw my shoes. They almost got a divorce because he accused her of having an affair. They finally called the yoga studio and judge wopner settled their differences and the shoes were returned to me. I really love those shoes. Maybe I loved them too much and and the shoe Gods were trying to teach me a lesson. Are there really shoe Gods? Imelda Marcos thinks there are and I'm putting my money on her. Whoa that would be cool if I could really put my money on her.

Some things I've learned in the last week
1. Applebees food sucks
2. Kansas City is way cool. Arthur Bryant's is some damn good bbq.
3. my c.d. is just starting to get added to the playlists of stations in Reno, Kansas City and San Diego. I will be putting up the phone numbers of these stations for you to call harrass with requests to play my songs.
4. it is fun driving in the snow except when a snowplough passes you on the oppisite of the freeway anf totally blinds you at 55 mph and you skid off the road onto a patch of black ice and the next thing you know you are going the wrong way on the freeway.
5. you can wear the same clothes everyday in the winter because you never sweat and your clothes won't smell. (wait- maybe they do smell. I think I should do some laundry)

a-o way to go ohio

Steven ice man cometh Poltz

Posted by steve at January 30, 2004 7:33 AM


I'm sitting alone in my office reading your post and laughing out loud - one of my co-workers just came in and caught me! You always have such a great way of looking at the sunny side and making the bad stuff so delicious! That's why I love ya! Keep on truckin' - sorry about your van :-(

Posted by: Regan at January 30, 2004 8:25 AM

Them's a good read. I especially liked the hat tip to the whole "Civil War Conspiracy." I can't believe some people still believe that such a war actually happened on US soil. While we're at it, let's all pretend that the Easter Bunny, the Boogeyman, and Errol Flynn are real people (and bunnies).

Posted by: Westy at January 30, 2004 9:10 AM

what an idiot! what kind of guy does that? i'm selling all your cd's that i own.

you're still a cutie though!

Posted by: nancy at January 30, 2004 9:11 AM

I hope you got a nice rental. Strangly enough I had a shoe incident similar to yours just last week at a basketball game. I haven't heard you live since 1997 when the Rugburns were opening for Jewel in Columbus, OH. I'm going to see you tomorrow night at Canal Street tavern in Dayton and I can't wait! See you tomorrow... renatl car gods permiting.

Posted by: Chris at January 30, 2004 12:20 PM

I'm glad to hear that you got your shoes back

Posted by: Jay J. at January 30, 2004 12:44 PM

I love reading your running commentary. Can't wait 'till the new CD arrives.

Please add some shows in the Philly/Southern NJ area! The one in East Windosr is sold out & "Jen/Dave" is a supposed private show.


Posted by: David R. at February 1, 2004 9:52 AM

I just had a similar reaction to Regan as I read your post... stupid little giggles that turned into snorts the minute I tried to make myself laugh more quietly. Luckily this is a regular occurrence in my corner of the office, so now they just give me crap and then walk away. Its all good. Take it easy in that snow mate! We want you to arrive in Australia in one piece! You should be across here enjoying sunny Perth now, instead of dealing with frostbite!! See you in April :D

Posted by: Cathy at February 1, 2004 6:11 PM

Steve told us this story in Columbus the other night. It was a riot... but then, most of his stories are :-)

Posted by: Tim at February 2, 2004 6:11 AM

available now!
Chinese Vacation
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