November 9, 2004

Michael The Space Dog


I am Michael the space dog. I am the descendant of an ape from Ghana and I didn't write that horseshit below. I am an educated dog with a degree in Spanish and astrophysics. Sure, I lived in a space ship and survived on Alpo and watched reruns of Bonanza, but I haven't barked in years. In fact I consider barking to be a rude pastime practiced by druid dogs from Mars. I enjoy making shrimp scampi and even went to Japanese cooking school and make a mean hamachi roll. Even though I don't have thumbs most of my rolls come out perfect. My father was Berber tribesman form Fez and immigrated to to Spain on a 3 week doggy visa. He got a job in a tapas bar and soon debunked the myth of opposable thumbs being necessary for work visas. The Spanish government soon gave him a grant and he began his quest to make me an outer space dog.
After my first communion I entered college. I was laughed at by the other students but soon acquired a 4.0 grade point average. This shut those bastards' pie holes, and before I knew it I was up up in space sending messages to the wailing hyenas below. I was accused of government espionage and stripped of my title as space dog and now I just walk the mean streets looking for internet cafes to surf the net for doggy style porn. I'll write you guys again soon but in the mean time I would like to let you know that there are some good recipes for Thanksgiving side dishes on the internet.
Oh yeah, Steve says hi.

Hasta Luego,

Michael the space dog

Posted by steve at November 9, 2004 6:05 AM


What side dishes?!? Which ones?! I like side dishes!! Yip! You look like you smell good Michael!! C'mere hotstuff!! I'm not a poodle!! I'm just happy to see you!!

Posted by: tussy at November 9, 2004 7:27 AM

you're pretty.

Posted by: carence at November 9, 2004 7:28 AM

oh i think there is a dog biscuit stuffing recipe you might like
or kibbles and bits gravy with pecans

Posted by: michael space dog at November 9, 2004 8:17 AM

Are you the same Michael that poltz kept calling while we were on the road?

Posted by: Lou at November 9, 2004 8:51 AM

that was jackson, lou. he was trying to relive his gloryhole days back in the pulpit...

Posted by: sean at November 9, 2004 10:18 AM

hey michael,

do you ever do it person style?

Posted by: sean at November 9, 2004 10:20 AM

Stop smoking my dads weed you fuckin idjet! I can't wait to see you so I can bust your teeth out and give you a preety blood smile.

Posted by: denno at November 9, 2004 9:59 PM

Dear Mike-

Don't believe Steve when he says he likes you. He is more allergic to you than a Republican to a college graduate. He's all poops and giggles when you're outdoors together, but let me tell you, get him inside with you and he'll be looking like the Toxic Avenger in about five minutes.

Posted by: nails at November 10, 2004 10:53 AM

Hi Michael!
Es un placer conocerte.
Diga a Steve que sus musicas e tu personalidad me encantam. El es una persona maravillosa.
Y tu eres un perro estupiendo, extremamente inteligente!
Much love,

Posted by: Anny at November 10, 2004 12:52 PM

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