November 22, 2004

Bowling for turkeys


I'm a fixin' to join the pro bowling tour. I think music is stupid and it all sounds like noise to me. I reallly feel like I have style and grace when I bowl. This Thanksgiving I am really going to work on my game. Did you ever stop to think about all the cool towns that have bowling alleys? I really hope that Hellven has a league and a fine selection of bowling shoes. I feel bad that Michael the spacedog can't bowl. Will someone please invent a ball to fit a whole paw in it? I can just just see him limping down the lane on 3 legs with a heavy ball on his southpaw. Michael is left handed just like Jimi and Kurt were.

I am playing a show in L.A. on Wednesday night at Largo. I play for exactly 54 minutes At about 8 ish. (more ish than 8) and then my friend David Garza plays. This is the night before Thanksgiving. Then on Saturday night I am in the temporary headquarters of Hellven in San Diego for a show at the Casbah. Stinky will be hitting 2 pieces of wood on his cocktail kit while I cavort with panache and aplomb and sing songs about bowling and dogs and election officials in Ohio. Please bring me a bowling ball or a book with some tips on cool bowling hairstyles. Remember the movie Kingpin? Those haircuts rocked more than Styx at the Palm Springs High School Gym back in '77.

Happy Easter. I hope the bunny brings you lots of Halloween chocolate turkeyettes on toothpicks made with a hint of nutmeg by a factory union organizers from the bowling pin local #23.

Yours in Mother Mary grilled cheeseness,

Steve Bowltz

Posted by steve at November 22, 2004 7:48 AM


Well you're in luck next time you're in Cleveland, cuz I happen to be on the good side of the bowling alley owner, and he'll let ya bowl for free. 50 lanes, and a rocking bar. See ya New Year's!

Posted by: Shay at November 22, 2004 8:34 AM

Dude... what's up in that pic?! How do you expect to make it on the pro bowling circuit with only half your right leg? Are you getting a bitchin' prosthetic?

Posted by: Frag at November 22, 2004 9:03 AM


Do you throw a hook ball or straight? Let me know if you need any tips. Sean can tell you all about my massive bowling career.

I think you should get the homer simpson ball. I've always wanted that one.

Good Luck and Good Bowling.

Posted by: Carence at November 22, 2004 9:20 AM

What's your handicap?

Posted by: ms p at November 22, 2004 10:12 AM

wow, dana... that's a LOADED question!

Posted by: carence at November 22, 2004 11:12 AM

Thank you. Thank you very much.


Posted by: tussy at November 22, 2004 11:57 AM

hey steve,

would you skip a friend's show to bowl? just wondering...


Posted by: sean at November 22, 2004 5:09 PM

oh hi, carence.

Posted by: seany river at November 23, 2004 6:33 AM

sean, you're assuming she thinks of you as a friend

Posted by: 88th st. bum at November 23, 2004 9:38 AM

hey, what're you doing here?

Posted by: emo miller at November 23, 2004 1:19 PM

No bowling for me...I have this phobia about putting my feet into other people's shoes. *shudder*

Posted by: carl at November 23, 2004 4:36 PM

Saloth Sar-

Honestly, you can bowl all you want, but it will never erase the memory of what happened between you a third of your country's population.

Just a thought.


Posted by: westy at November 23, 2004 7:47 PM

available now!
Chinese Vacation
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