August 4, 2005

I am an ad executive for the australian council of ad stuff that's really important


I made up a poster and song ad campaign for my tour to Australia. I think it is really going to increase ticket sales way over there in that other place across the world. No one likes my ad. It was deemed unacceptable. This hurts my feelings real bad insde. You may listen to the ad if you feel like it by clicking where it says I like Steve so much that I am going to fly to the shows in Australia.

Anyone can buy a ticket to the shows in Australia
The tickets are on sale now. The info is on this website
Just click on with the shows. If you donít live in Australia
Then you should go on a holiday and visit the land down under.
Itís not as expensive as you think. What are you living your life for? Get out and see the world. In 100 years weíll all be dead and as your spirit is floating around looking for a German Shepard to be reincarnated in to. Youíll say ďhuh? I died with money in the bank? What a freakiní moron. I could have seen Steverino play with Gregory Page and Jeff Berkely. I bet it was a great show! Itís so rare that those guys would even play together. Especially in Australia and now I am dead and I missed it. And now theyíre dead too. So what are the chances of it happening again?Ē Slim to effing none!

I like Steve so much that I am going to fly to the shows in Australia

you may rate this ad on a scale of zero to negative one hundred

This is an add on for the country of France and Stefan. I hope that you will find this ad acceptable. I still want to use the same song though. France really hurt my feelings by not liking my previous poster. I am a child of God and I want everyone to be happy. I have now designed a new poster for the tour. I hope that Australia likes this one better as well. Please let me know if this poster is the one you would like to use.


Posted by steve at August 4, 2005 9:08 AM


wow. that's a great ad! i love the poster too. you are really talented steve. i rate it a negative 1

Posted by: steverino at August 4, 2005 9:23 AM

gosh. i didn't know you were a graphic artist too. good stuff steve. i give it a zero.

Posted by: steven at August 4, 2005 9:24 AM

look out wall street. there's a new sheriff in town. hey steve, good work. i can't even imagine how you came up that. i know i'm not supposed to but i give it a plus 1! i like you man.

Posted by: stevie at August 4, 2005 9:27 AM

not only do you have nice legs but you can cook too! cook up an ad that is.
i give it a plus 2. screw the rules. and while we're at it screw everyone. i'm going to the land down under.

Posted by: steeev at August 4, 2005 9:29 AM

i know you must be busy today with all the accolades but please know that i love, i mean LOVE your ad. you are so talented. WOW. i am going to hire you to take over the Nike account for bob tomlinson and the hargrove situation. i give it a negative 23.

Posted by: stephen at August 4, 2005 9:33 AM

muy bien amigo. not only can you strum the guitar but you can strum up some business for mexico while you're at it. you are a saint. viva mexico and muchas gracias steve poltz.

Posted by: esteben at August 4, 2005 9:35 AM

mi olvido. negativo tres.

Posted by: esteben at August 4, 2005 9:37 AM

from a female perspective i must say that you freaking naled it. the poster makes me feel at peace with the world like i just finished a bkram yoga class. the relexed me too. i like part where you say rare as a camel steak. i just shot and killed my camel and ate it last night so i know what you mean. i give this ad a flat out ZERO.

Posted by: stephanie at August 4, 2005 9:40 AM

i meant to say nailed it. and i for got to say the word the. that is my favorite word. i can't believe i forgot to put in my response. the. the the, the THE.

Posted by: stephanie at August 4, 2005 9:44 AM

i am from france and i hate it. i hate this ad so much. how you say it hurt me? merde. you will never work in paris. i geeev eet a negative 110.

Posted by: stefan at August 4, 2005 9:46 AM

i hate you stefan for saying that. i love steve. he is brilliant. your country sucks. i once got sick on your crepes. they didn't have enough meat in them for me. mmm camel hoof crepes.

Posted by: stephanie at August 4, 2005 9:48 AM

peees on you stephanie. i am a vegetarian and i ride a camel to my shop on the champs elysee. you make me seeek to my belly. how do you say hate? you are not welcome in my country. go to australia and never come back.

Posted by: stefan at August 4, 2005 9:50 AM

guys guys guys! please don't fight. i like all of you equally. i can't be everywhere at once but please know that i am sending good thoughts your way. i didn't mean for this ad thing to cause such a ruckus but can't we all just get along? i will write an ad for the countries in the world if i have to. i am busy at the moment cloning michael the space dog in korea.
ruff ruff.

Posted by: steve poltz at August 4, 2005 9:53 AM

i am sorry to how you say? cause a stir in the cafe ole. maybe i am jelous because steve never kiss me anymore. i like his lips. he left me on the left bank with nothing but a empty bottle of wine a nd some cheese. i love him like i loved jeery lewees. he is so funny. steve. please make an ad for france. pleeeeeze. godammit.

Posted by: stefan at August 4, 2005 9:58 AM

i am up in heaven and i think that this ad is fantastic. you humans really don't know how short your time is here on this planet. you should go see steve in australia. you are losing money every minute you're not. steve... will you make up an ad for heaven? we need you.
saint steven from up in heaven

Posted by: st. steven at August 4, 2005 10:06 AM

I give it a negative 38. But you may want to rethink the last few lines -- F-ing nun's is just wrong dude.

Please do an ad for Suffolk. We're famous for peanuts and taxidermy.

Posted by: ms p at August 4, 2005 10:09 AM

hi there,
this is the country of australia writing. although we like the fact that you put in such hard work we are going to have reject (that's right REJECT) your ad. this is a formal rejection. no ifs ands or buts. end of story. please take down this ad or we will attack your country.

Posted by: australia at August 4, 2005 10:12 AM

whoa. i didn't mean to start a war. i am sensitive guy joe. haven't you heard you my song medical career? please don't attack. i can't take down the ad. my dad is taking away my computer. plus, i think it is an awesome ad. i give it a neg3 defcon 4.

Posted by: steve poltz at August 4, 2005 10:14 AM

suff fu fu folk fu fu fu folk come to suffolk fu fu fu fu folk. to the tune of leeetle drummer boy. how you say?

Posted by: steve poltz at August 4, 2005 10:17 AM

too ........... many .......... words ..........

I give it a -55.8.

Posted by: Carence at August 4, 2005 10:50 AM

too many words you say? you beetch. i will cat fight you. how dare you insult steve. i will bomb your house. i'll shove word down your throat.
piss off.

Posted by: stephanie at August 4, 2005 11:08 AM

Sorry, Stephanie, but I'm with Carence on that one. It's a bit of sensory overload. And it'll never get played on radio, with the naughty language there at the end. Or will there be a radio edit? Plus, what's with the beakers? Do they make you give a urine sample before you can get off the plane?

I'm down with the whole cat-fight thing, though. As long as there is clothing ripped off, I mean. More power to ya.

Posted by: Frag at August 4, 2005 11:24 AM

I like the second poster better. The beakers are a nice touch. Are you a Scientologist now?

Please count in Australian some more. It gives me chills. Krikey!

Posted by: ms p at August 4, 2005 11:46 AM


you just haven't had the right crepes. may I recommend the orange crepes at the international (it includes france) house of pancakes on i40 halfway between charlotte and raleigh.

a man's meal, if I've ever had one. ooh, and try them with the white zinfandel. mmm-mmm...

Posted by: swets at August 4, 2005 1:32 PM

Oh Stephanie...

I didn't mean to insult Steve, I think the ad is just swell. Really, I do. Stars have always been a favorite of mine. The "too many words" thing was directed to all the comments up there... it was making my head hurt. Hey Stephanie, let's not fight. Make Love Not War.

Have fun in Austria, Steve.

Posted by: Carence at August 4, 2005 4:15 PM

Skip de skip, up the road
Off to school we go
"Don't you be a bad boy Stevie
Don't you slip up
Or play the fool"

But say Hi to our friends down under for us Yanks (I mean Pad's)

Posted by: Greg at August 4, 2005 4:33 PM

i can't believe i actually read all that. i should be sleeping.

Posted by: mywiena at August 4, 2005 8:36 PM

The first one makes it look like you specialise in chocolate milkshakes. The second is by far the better of the two, it has that cool science textbook look to it. Australia will like this one cause we are the teacherís pet of the world. The audio should get an independent release, stuff the ad councils let the underground decide. On behalf of Australia I welcome you Steve, I can see youíll fit right in with your stockpiled cultural references.

Posted by: Pedro Ichiro at August 4, 2005 10:16 PM

I give it negative 99

Posted by: Pedro Ichiro at August 4, 2005 10:24 PM

What is that, the Southern Cross on Acid?!?...Dude!

Posted by: Gerg at August 5, 2005 1:18 AM

Best description Iíve heard. Give the man a gold star

Posted by: Pedro Ichiro at August 5, 2005 3:30 AM

I really like the first ad best and give it a zero because I'm so sad for your hurt feelings. Also it reminds me a bit of the logo for this kewl little coffee shop I like to go to in downtown La Mesa called Cosmos. I believe you would like it there Steve, Steverino, Steven, Stephen, Stephanie, Stefan and Esteben. Perhaps you could all come together in love over a cup of coffee, espresso, latte, or mexican mocha. Or even maybe they have Fresca?

Posted by: Poppylady at August 6, 2005 3:46 PM

I have confirmed that there is no Fresca at Cosmos, but there do have some Jones Soda and that prolly won't hurt anyone's balls.

Posted by: Poppylady at August 6, 2005 3:52 PM

Hey Esteban...
Can you please bring some teeshirts with you so i can buy them..they can be merch, or the one off your back, i don't mind..unless that unspeakable BO problem you have isn't a that case I'll pass...
Tickles and Tigers,
Lils x

Posted by: Lilsy at August 6, 2005 9:55 PM

Aw Yeah! If its not too much trouble could you please throw an answering machine in the suitcase bound for Perth? Hmmm... I hope you are flying qantas? because they bound best, like a kangaroo from Wooloomooroo mate. Cheers Stevo!

Posted by: Pedro Ichiro at August 6, 2005 10:58 PM

Fair dinkum steve, that is the best ad I have seen in a long time. You deserve a negative 4, I reckon. But how do you know my itinerary? Every time I am overseas, you play in Oz! At least this time, I will be making it back in time to catch one of your cronulla shows. I figured if I was flying all the way to san D, I would be able to catch one of your shows, but yer two steps ahead of me, and are playing where I just flew from. You are a wily bugger, Mister Poltz, but I look forward to seeing ya play when I get home. By the way, will ya play the area code song for me?
All the best

Posted by: Trent Maier at August 9, 2005 11:02 AM

Dude...what the fuck are you on?


Posted by: Troy Lee Wells at August 9, 2005 11:25 AM

i could die with money in the bank - SO I("M GOING TO GO AND SEE STEVE POLTZ IN AUSTRALIA. "IT'S A GREAT SHOW!!!"
Everyone's dead too!

Posted by: Jim Jib at August 9, 2005 7:14 PM

People... CALL ME if you want tix to the Brisbane show at the Troubadour!

My number is 0410 347 353

Alternatively my email is [email protected]

I have 120 of the suckas so round up your buddies!

My names Mark by the way... I'm nice enough

Posted by: Mark at August 10, 2005 10:30 PM

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