May 8, 2006

I've seen the future (and it ain't pretty)


What the hell do you people think I do all day? Just sit around in my apartment making crap up? I have seen the future. I REALLY AM a time traveler. I just fixed my flux capacitor Kilgorian Trout Mask Replica thingy to convert a file I brought back from the future. This is an ad from like um um I guess the year 2 thousand and 90. I almost got busted by the intergalactic media tent circus freaks at the hoolum trenchy barbacoa divide mummy tract. Michael the space dog bit a galaxy cop's arm and lost a blue tooth. We need a doggy dentist post haste.
If you want to hear the future then click below. But be forewarned. It ain't that pretty in the future folks. Oh yeah. You'll see. Just wait.
God Speed John Glennnnnnnnnnnnnnn


Posted by steve at May 8, 2006 12:44 PM


I like that the privates are shaped like a heart!

Posted by: Joe at May 8, 2006 5:23 PM

Love the Captain Beefheart, I have not heard him in years. Probably since the last time I tripped!! Trout Mask Replica kicks.

Posted by: Rick at May 8, 2006 7:44 PM

It's official: Steve done flipped his lid! Get the jacket!!

Posted by: Jamie the Cat Guy at May 8, 2006 8:49 PM

I see an endorsement deal in your future, Steven.

Posted by: Frag at May 9, 2006 8:02 AM

hi frag,
maybe they'll sell my new cd when it comes out.
oh wait, maybe not.
how art thou fragito?
in the future hey sell fragitos.
they are soy corn chips flavored with krypton.
they are really good.
in the future my frozen head is on display in an ice cream factory. why? why? why must they mock me?
i'll have a vent venti venti. i'll have 20 vrntis.
i think that's ple nty.
sjj jjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjj jjj jjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjj jjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjj jjjj jjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjp
ppppppppppppppppp jjjj pppp jssss ssssss s s
jjjjjj pppppp

Posted by: steverino at May 9, 2006 8:51 AM

Ya gotta love the Dead Milkmen line . Stuart = funny stuff . Do they know what the queers are doing to the soil . DesMoines Iowa....perfect example.

Hi Stevio . Will you help me rake leaves this October ?

Posted by: matt at May 9, 2006 9:25 AM

Ironically, I spilled a Stearbuck's coffee on my fancy Razor phone this very morning. Phone is completely shot. So guess what that means? That's right- I'm upgrading to the latest and greatest phone ever!!

But for the record, yours is pretty cool, too. Was that a Crunchberry Beast I saw on the back?


Posted by: Westy at May 9, 2006 11:55 AM

always trying to one up me westy.
that should be your name.
one up me westy.
why must you always mock my phone?
it's pretty coll right?
i wonder if tom cruise likes to listen to this ad i brought back.
rinse and wear is to immature to stand next to whilst doing yoga poses.
tonight the sox and the bombers.
good luck my little wee pal.
perhaps herr damon while twist an ankle and have to play while enduring the ankle dilemma.
the ankle dilemma. the hidden novel by robert ludlum.
should be oot this week.
go stearbucks go!

Posted by: steverino at May 9, 2006 1:46 PM

let's see...i've heard "westicle," "j*$ fucking d$%*," and "one up me westy." still think i like "westicle" resonates for some odd reason. steverino, with all DUE respect, i imagine something more like "EWWHH! i have 'one up me westy!'" :-)

Posted by: dawnmarie at May 9, 2006 2:04 PM

brilliant steve! it did make me smile hahah

Posted by: megan at May 9, 2006 2:17 PM

I art ~eh. But if anyone ever uses a derivation of my name to sell soy, I'll be irate. Irate, I tell you! Wait... what does krypton taste like? Does it taste like chicken alfredo pizza with Cajun Cheetos on top? If so, then those soy corn chips would be okay and I wouldn't sue. And what flavors of ice cream will they be selling from your frozen future head? It should be lactose-free chocolate with peanut butter cups, 'cause then I could eat from your frozen head and like it like Mikey.

Posted by: Frag at May 9, 2006 3:11 PM

I Lust for you Dr Spock! I came right home to check it out, I'm rollen in shiite!
Nice to see you finally put my picture on the site!

Posted by: AnnemariEGO at May 9, 2006 3:39 PM

awesome Steve.

Posted by: Anny at May 9, 2006 6:11 PM

Aw, pookie! It's not that I mock your phone- I just point out its shortcomings. Big difference. Rinse and wear is the worst kind of yogi- always criticizing people's yoga attire rather than basking in their inner beauty. In fact, the inner beauty in her never sees the inner beauty in other people. In fact, when she says "Namaste" at the end of class, her inner beauty chokes up a little vomit in the back of its throat from the sheer hypocrisy of it all.

Hey, on an unrelated subject, do you have the contact info for the guy who sold you your phone? I'm looking for some ways to make easy money and it seems like he's tapped into one.

Thanks, buddy!

Posted by: Westy at May 9, 2006 6:28 PM

i "heart" westicle.
rinse and wear yogi...clever. i'll refrain from spewing gooey gushy love here as it may muck up the flow of fruitfully entertaining sassiness. therefore..... i ask you to conjure up an image of beloved sjjjjjjjjjp with heart-shaped privates in nothing more than a buttpack and a whistle in the woods! :-)

oh wait....that was the last rugburns show! shiiiite!

Posted by: dawnmarie at May 9, 2006 7:21 PM

dear westy,
i am laughing so hard right now i can't typeeeeeekjj
you are fun knee.
i keep picturing her choking up a little vomit when she says "namaste."
bosox beat the bombers. crushed 'em.
watching the pads right now against the brew crew.
you're not in the lineup. what gives? did you insult a fan with one of your "calls?"
do you think stearbuckys will carry my new cd?
pah pah pah pah polio

Posted by: steverino at May 9, 2006 7:39 PM

haven't you ever wondered where the actual "crazy point" is? where you cross over and can't find the way back? yea, me neither.

one up me westy - that's disturbing.

Posted by: ash at May 9, 2006 9:51 PM

They gave me a night off last night, which was why I wasn't in the lineup. I was supposed to play second, but then Towers looked at my numbers from April and saw that I was only completing 60% of my calls, and my contract requires a service level agreement of 80%. So they took me out of the lineup and sent me back up to the office with my Excel spreadsheet full of numbers and started calling people to make sure they knew about the winning streak, Kalil's latest tear, and some of the promotions coming up at Petco. That stuff sure is tiring.

Are you going to the Juice Kaboose today? Rinse and wear loves to make fun of that place, most often while standing in line, jonesing for her crappy little shake.

Posted by: Westy at May 10, 2006 8:39 AM

oh beloved westicle-
you're so bad that you leave us (with the notable exception of beloved papa smurf) unable to conjure witty responses. well, guess i can only speak for myself...wait a minute! when has that EVER stopped me?! hey! will i get to meet 'rinse and wear?' pretty please! :-)

i'm with joe and still hung up on heart-shaped privates.

Posted by: dawnmarie at May 10, 2006 7:55 PM


See if they can locate a doggy dentist for you.

I would pay money to hear you call them and explain this situation.

some say I'm a dreamer...


Posted by: carence at May 11, 2006 2:10 PM

i love you steve! you are so awesome! hahaha

Posted by: michele at May 25, 2006 11:06 PM

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