June 27, 2007

I need a caption for this photo


My friend Mrs. Pertussin suggested I have you guys come up with a caption for this fine photo. Why? Because when she suggests something it's usually a good idea. Except for the time she thought it would be a good idea for me to run across Petco Park naked at The Padres game so her husband Bill could watch from his TV set in Virginia. That wasn't a good idea. No sirree bobby joe jim bob dale junior.

Don't forget to come to The Casbah in San Diego this Friday night. I am giving away money from the stage and hand guns. Free bottles of whiskey to first 300 people through the door too. Naked dancers in cages will be swinging to and fro while I slowly strum my pain with my fingers.
Oh yeah- we are also hosting the Democratic Presidential debates so come on out and meet the candidates. Bono will be there too serving fish tacos before I play my second song.

Here is the caption that I suggest: All I need is this Padre cap and a hunting rifle and I'll be just fine. (I know you can do better than that)

Posted by steve at June 27, 2007 3:53 PM


'the real dear among imitations'

Mrs. P. has great ideas! I still think you should do the naked thing. It could do wonders for your fan base and that new R/B.

And...I don't really know you so I can't vouch if the above saying is true...the dear part. Again, could do wonders and it is only advertising. Who said all ads are true?

Posted by: lisa at June 27, 2007 5:11 PM

I wish my rack was this big.

Posted by: jimmy at June 27, 2007 5:47 PM

wow. i love 'em both.
you guys are fast!

Posted by: steverino at June 27, 2007 6:03 PM

The Buck Stops Here

Posted by: Suzanne & Jack at June 27, 2007 6:06 PM

It wasn’t the stork that had brought baby poltz into the world after all.

Posted by: jackie at June 27, 2007 7:18 PM

"Nurse, put the latex gloves on my hands, I see they're staring to line up for free rectal and prostate checks, but I'm not digging that dude with the whip directly behind my head....send him over to the Free Clinic on the other side of town"

Posted by: jimmy at June 27, 2007 7:46 PM

"I swear, I was only hooked on cough syrup....look at my arms, no track marks.....just syrup,...well there was that Iranian dude who called me "My Lord"...we'd do some Opium...but never once has a needle entered these arms despite what was seen in that Jewel video"

Posted by: jimmy at June 27, 2007 7:49 PM

gnome where to run to baby...gnome where to hide

Posted by: karda at June 27, 2007 9:06 PM

that mrs. pertussin and her great iders...bueno.

gosh, i have to ask, do bucks' tails *always* look like that?

sorry, i'm suffering from a creative juice blockage. just don't think i can top 'i wish my rack was this big.'

btw, i hiccuped when i read 'while I slowly strum my pain with my fingers.' is that a sign i've been talking to Frag too much? hmmmm.

oh, and you don't *rub* aspirin.

Posted by: db cooper at June 27, 2007 10:10 PM

"What Me Worry" (Alfred E Neumann)

Posted by: Emile at June 28, 2007 4:00 AM

Steve's new album cover....can imagine it being titled....

Posted by: Rob B at June 28, 2007 6:51 AM

(This is after Daddy Deer found out that Mommy Deer was dead)
"Daddy Deer got a brand new hoe, I mean doe!"

Posted by: Springy at June 28, 2007 8:02 AM

my name is johnny...i used to have a girlfriend with big pink nipples and biceps like henry rollins until i took a walk in the woods and discovered my love for animals

Posted by: karda at June 28, 2007 8:53 AM

Yes, Dawn. I've seen a many of bucks taking a 'bowel movement' in my yard. Looks just like that...except the tail has more white in it. :)

We had twin does born in our front yard the day after my bday.

And I've had to restrain my hunter uncle from coming over and getting out his guns.

So sorry to be off topic here, but I did contribute on topic earlier.

Posted by: lisa at June 28, 2007 11:08 AM

"Hey I know I look like the creator and maybe a bit like Moses, but where the hell did you all come from? And what do mean "where is the Ark?" ahhh nature don't you just love it?

Posted by: Kate from Oz at June 28, 2007 5:31 PM

Deer Harts and gentle people.


Posted by: manpa poltz at June 28, 2007 8:36 PM

Deer Harts and gentle people.


Posted by: manpa poltz at June 28, 2007 8:37 PM

cheese and rice!
you guys are good.

Posted by: steverino at June 28, 2007 8:49 PM

you have my vote

Cheers sean

Posted by: Sean L at June 28, 2007 8:52 PM

"Steve Poltz in his inaugural run for the presidency is surrounded by his loyal constituents."

"What would Noah do?"

"Why am I wearing this condom on my head?"

"The reanimated herd menacingly surrounds their recalcitrant but beatific victim."

Posted by: tussy at June 29, 2007 6:56 AM

um, if tussy has the coolest captions, why did she ask you to post this? show-off.

i kid.

btw, it's been 5 weeks, 2 days, 1 hour and 30 minutes since i last proclaimed that i have a crush on tussy.


Posted by: guess who at June 29, 2007 11:48 AM

The San Diego Padres: MLB's Annual 'Deer in the Headlights'

Posted by: Ben at June 29, 2007 5:45 PM

I'm Steve Poltz? Go *@#$ yourself San Diego.

Posted by: Kelly at June 29, 2007 5:49 PM

Here I am!

Posted by: b boy at June 29, 2007 9:17 PM

It could be a postcard with “Wish You Were Deer” as the caption.

Posted by: Shaeffer at June 29, 2007 9:29 PM

I love the "Wish You Were Deer"!!! Very Pink Floyd. : )

Posted by: lisa at June 29, 2007 9:38 PM

OH Dear

Posted by: aspen kinkade at June 30, 2007 10:33 PM

OH Dear

Posted by: aspen kinkade at June 30, 2007 10:33 PM

I'm sorry, officer bambi. I didn't realize santa asked for a "snow job."

Posted by: sean at July 3, 2007 11:25 AM

officer, I just wanted some venison. how was I supposed to know she was only 17?

Posted by: sean at July 5, 2007 11:31 AM

Hey, Where's Rudolph?

Posted by: lori's guy at July 9, 2007 8:50 PM

Singer/Songwriter Steve Poltz offers a public apology to the Deer family for writing insensitive lyrics in past works. "The line about brown acid was meant to be a Woodstock joke... "explained Poltz. More comments from the yard ornaments that attended tonight at 11."

Posted by: Joel at July 10, 2007 12:36 PM

not bad, Ypvu, but those are deer...

Posted by: sean at July 13, 2007 10:07 AM

OK, OK, tell the sex pistols I confess. It was Poltz that killed Bambi!

Posted by: Barry at July 15, 2007 5:36 PM

cash and dash(er).

Posted by: jules at July 31, 2007 11:28 PM

dear steve,
just got back from an absolutely hellish evening at the ER with my beloved daughter of five. she made me promise we'd never go to that place again or see "those mean people" again. i was quick to cross my heart.
anyway, i'm here with a glass of vino at your website for the first time in ... maybe the first time ever. anyway, i love you bunches and used to get oh so excited about date nights with my hubby and you at the belly up.
gosh that feels like forever ago.
words can't say how much i wish i could be there aug. 8. will you buy me a ticket from BNA 2 SAN?
i digress. so i got online to find something special for my baby girl, since i subjected her to that cruelty at the ER tonight. had no idea you did a kids' CD. how perfect is that? i'm buying it now. right this minute. one of these days we'll get back 2 SAN and she'll dance for you. she's a wonder to behold.
smiles and blessings,

Posted by: julie at July 31, 2007 11:46 PM

what the buck?

Posted by: renee at August 6, 2007 6:18 PM

PRAY FOR REIN................. DEAR!

Posted by: Jesus Tony Ortiz at August 9, 2007 9:38 AM

oh, a dear!

Posted by: jk at September 3, 2007 5:49 AM

im sorry about the baby deer...

Posted by: jk at September 3, 2007 5:51 AM

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