March 10, 2008
Holy Smokes (these living room shows are fun)
I don't even know where the last few days went. I know I was in Virginia at Bill and Dana's 7th annual living room show. Bill got a new hip and this was a party in honor of his new hip. He was so spry that it made me want to get a new hip and i don't even need one. He did a gymnastics routine that brought the house down. A floor show and a horse show and a donkey show. He was amazing I tell you. AMAZING. Dana , his lovely wife and cohort was a gracious hostess and made homemade donuts with her new donut making machine. This thing is crazy and it takes up half of the kitchen. But I'll be damned if these weren't the best tasting donuts I've ever had. It got kind of crazy when one of the donkeys tipped over the burning hot oil on Bill's new hip. He couldn't feel a thing because the hip is titanium so he was just in the middle of his horse routine literally on fire. I know there are going to be lawsuits but it was all worth it.
We played a full rock show in their living room and the fact that the cops never came makes me wonder if there is any authority at all in the city of Suffolk. I think it is a lawless village where anything goes. We played one of the weirdest songs I've ever made up on stage. Christopher Hoffee kept on playing classic rock riffs from hugely popular songs and then combined that with intermittent reggae strums. Patrick followed suit on the drums while I sang every lyric to Police songs and Billy Joel songs and Foreigner songs I've ever known. This went on for a good 25 minutes. I surprised someone didn't throw a beer bottle at my head.
We didn't go to sleep until 4 in the morning and had to be up and moving at 6 am. How come whenever we have a nice hotel like we did at The Hilton in Suffolk, we always have to leave at a Godless hour?
We drove 11 hours to Chattanooga for another living room show at Kim's house for her birthday. Another great hostess and this time we had belly dancers open up for us. I can safely say I've never had belly dancers open up for any of my shows. It was simply amazing to watch these dancers and we even had one of them come up and dance on "Rains." Their percussionist also joined us and it was one of the longest craziest versions yet. I hope someone filmed it. There were heaps of little kids in the audience for the early set so we did a bunch of stuff off of The Barn cd.
Everyone sang happy birthday to the birthday folks. Ryan, Kim and Darryl. Then someone blew up their car out in front of the house. Blew it to smithereens and I put out the fire and saved everyone. All of my other band members were scared except for me. I am a hero and I even climbed a tree and rescued a cat. I am so awesome. Then I found a cure for measles and small pox. I think the Mayor of Chattanooga is going to step down and let me run the place. I am going to impose a curfew and force people to listen to my cds only. When I walk down the streets of Chattanooga people will have to bow or they'll be whipped 150 times in public. I can't wait to straighten things out around here.
Tonight however, I must go to Atlanta. Smiths Olde Bar awaits. Buy your tickets now. This is an order. Go do it!
Keeping America safe,
Steven JJ Poltz
Posted by steve at March 10, 2008 7:49 AM
Those weren't donuts Mayor Polio, they were beignets!
Come back soon. :)
I'm so proud of my favorite blogger. Good boy for doing it so regularly!
I think I'm going to ask Santa for a Steve Poltz living room show for Christmas.
Next time you're in town, I insist on not bowing. Looking forward to my whipping ;)
Fuck ...So I have 2 months to try and top BELLY DANCERS . Great . Thanks . I might just have to shoot myself out of a cannon . How would you like me set up a dunk tank on The Barn Stage ? Everyone could take turns trying to dunk you and all that do get a free copy of Unraveling .
Just say the word Stevie Beisbal .
Matt -- The dunk tank sounds like a great idea! I'm thinking strippers for the next go 'round here.
Have fun down in Atlanta.. Wishing I had medical clearence so head south this week... Smiths Old Bar is a cool place to take in a show. Man I miss the ATL. And if I remember correctly there is that sound man (shalom??) that you had to pay off so you could hook up your recorder to the board. Keep some fake 20's in your pocket to pay him off then call the secret service and get his ass busted... :D See you in two weeks sir....
If I had HAD a beer bottle, I would've thrown it at you when you started the Beatles cover, so it would've been gone by the time The Greatest Song Ever started. Dana was going to unplug you, but she couldn't figure out which cord to pull.
You get some time off from me now, at least until the LRCs in May. Use it wisely.
"I am awesome." :gawd:
beignets, dana?!? F-A-N-T-A-B-U-L-O-U-S!
steven,
if you were to refer to said french delicacies as "doughnuts" in new orleans or ANYWHERE in jefferson parish, they would drag you through the swamp and suspend you from a cypress tree as gators profusely and incessantly snapped at your toes...until you sang "wishing well." THAT would stop them. your cover of this ditty can (allegedly) lull a gaggle of rabid fans in such disarray they don't know whether to toss their panties or run for cover. at least that's what i *heard.* or maybe it's your dance moves that puts it over the top?
i'll have to see for myself. :scratchinghead:
You should have burlesque girls open up for you. That's what they did for Jon Dee's birthday. That was some fun stuff.
The Challenge is out now...
to top the last living room show pre-poltz entertainment and shenanigangs, belly dancers, home made donuts, gymnastics displays & new hips...
wholly mackrel I will have to dig deep for the next Aussie Tour....
And you know I will!!
Some people like to be whipped (actually more than you might think), so you have to find other things to keep them in line. Like the old torture room they in London, the especially good one is the rack.
Something like this:
http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/mly0689l.jpg
to expound on that more...
The Tower of London
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tower_of_London
had the torture chamber...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Torture_chamber
And I have to say super kudos to whoever did the illustration in this blog. It looks hand drawn!!! I love things done with hands...
p.s. Posting binge over, now to go purge my mind of work with fingerstyle practice...
Wow, 10 years - I promise I will not be waiting that long again to see you. It was great to talk to you. Your love child says hello (Smile) Come back to TN soon - NE TN would be great near or in the Johnson City Area, you would always have a place to stay. And I can cook some great Hungarian food – I make amazing stuffed cabbage and homemade kifli cookies. I may even hire some belly dancers; better yet I think I may start taking lessons myself.
I love you! I mean it!
Millissa
Belly Dancer captured.
Film at http://youtube.com/watch?v=s7qepezDglQ
Thanks to Philip Luckey - videographer extraordinaire
Hey Philip awesome capture on "Rains"!!!
My heart loves your heart
Steve, You are amazing! I want a livingroom show for my birthday.
Love,
Michelle
