May 2003

May 30, 2003

re-bar and hijackers

How come as I surf the net for news I am not hearing anything about this Australian hijacker. it is all over the papers down here in Sydney. Yet I look on and i see no mention. I could have been on that plane. I fly Qantas and I was in Melbourne around that time. That filght attendant deserves a medal of honor.

The baggage handlers however do not deserve anything. They broke my beloved guitar's neck yesterday. Poor flowerpot has had her neck broken 5 times by the airlines. I am so sad about this. I can't even look at her.

Inter music in Bondi saved the day. They have loaned me a beautiful Taylor guitar for the rest of my Aussie tour. Thanks Brent! Please send nice emails to Brent at [email protected]

I wish flowerpot's neck was made of re-bar. then nothing could ever hurt her. I think we should think about re-bar for a minute. Here are my thoughts:

rebar is used in construction. it is a steel pole used to strengthen concrete. it was originally used in crete when a greek man's crate broke after a hard night of ouzo deliveries. some freaking greek trade put the plans in a bottle and they washed up on the shores of cyprus into the hand of a fisherman, who in true cypriotic fashion said, "duh". when his grandmother's inbred cousin found out, she whooped for joy like granny in the beverly hillbillies, and next thing ya know, old jed's a millionare, the cypriot miss jane said move away from there.

they took the freakin' plans to rome, and with their cell phones on roam, phoned in the coliseum gig. thats why the cats all live there today they know the rebar will keep them safe and sound, even when it's raining cats and dogs. the core challanges that face the platform of the loading docks today seem to be mainly of the roll down variety. ya see, prior to wheels, ramps weren't a hassle because girls still wore tassles with bells that would announce their arrival to the scene. in other words they were heard before they were seen. because the tassles had bells in them! so they could herd them in and not be seen, yet they could make the scene and still be able to go clubbing till dawn with some mobster named don or ron amici. this was before drugs rotted the infastructure and seemed to ruin everything. but through it all rebar was the hero. not until oreos came along was there a true challenge to a product. other than turkish coffee of course. ha ha ha but we all know what that entails. don't we, dear? anyways- next time you see rebar i want you to think of me and the little greek people and how they've been taken advantage of and looked over over the years. maybe then you'll know what it feels like to cry.

love stevieopolis ( i think i blew a fuse in my brain)

Posted by steve at 6:25 AM | Comments (16)
May 27, 2003

The Hargrove Situation

Dear friends,
I am very scared. I bought a digital camera and it is one more way for me to dive recklessly into the 21st century. I didn't realize I could make little film clips with such a little camera, but here I am in Melbourne with a day off and too much time on my hands. I can't seem to get track number 38 from "Answering Machine" out of my head. I think it is an important song with a message for the people of zee world. The title of this little ditty is "The Hargrove Situation."

I have decided to make my own video for VH1 and MTV. I can't wait for them to come and get it so I am having my own world premiere. I think it will change the way the leaders of the world conduct themselves. This song was a hideous and creepy dream that woke me up one morning and demanded to be written. I wish I never wrote it but the spaceship people made me.

here are the lryics so you can sing along if you feel the need.

The hargrove situation (ha ha) is not under control. So you better call Bob Tomlinson at Nike to get the full scoop. Lets sharpen our pencils and touch base after a round of phone tag.

It's a win win situation. It's entirely synergistic. (ha ha) So crunch those numbers for Chrissakes you believable kitten under a train. Look out for those construction workers, they're real strong too.
It's a win win situation. It's a win win situation!

view video

I hope this helps. I like to think of this song as a lullaby. I am now off to Adelaide.

Yours truly,

sjj poltzification

Posted by steve at 12:09 PM | Comments (9)
May 23, 2003

View image

an award winning shot
taken by milan the man

Posted by steve at 5:39 AM

death letters, photos etc...

well well well...
Here I am in Melbourne and I am laughing and enjoying my post-yoga high and looking through some photos. I am getting revved up for my show in Melbourne tomorrow eve. Milan has put up the Kerri-Anne show on his website. The performance should be up by this evening and I am so confused by the time change that I guess that means we are 3 weeks ahead of all the yanks while we are down here. (he said yanks, heh heh)

Milan took some pictures in Brisbane and in Perth. I think they are below this post. He is much better with these computers than this luddite.

My favorite one is a pic of the death letter i wrote to Marie and her lovely husband over dinner. I hope you enjoy this violent little note.

I'm now off to have a cup of tea and some scones. I am going to throw my clotted cream at Milan's face in front of all the other customers. I want him to know the meaning of the word respect.

I will probably feel bad aboot this, but that feeling will go away.

yours in Christ, Buddah and Allah,

steven jj Poltz


fly by night club in perth


the healer in brisbane live recording
will be released of this show


an award winning photo by milan
at the healer in brisbane

Posted by steve at 4:38 AM | Comments (4)

the death letter

Posted by rtwerk at 4:00 AM | Comments (2)
May 21, 2003

Austria or Australia?

Wowee kazowee. This whole week has been one crazy hay ride. It is so weird to be here in Austria. I thought everyone would be speaking German or somthing but they have the cutest accents i have ever heard. Strangely enough they all speak English and no one is using the Euro for money. I thought I would be able to take a train to France but apparently i am alot farther away than I thought. now they're telling me the only way I can get to Vienna or Paris is by plane or boat. What a bunch of idiots! I thought I could just take a train. Here I am looking at a map of Europe and Perth isn't even on it.

But seriously folks... these Aussies are amazing hosts. I have been from Sydney to Brisbane to Cronulla to Perth and it just keeps on going and going. I love this country. Thanks for coming to the shows and giving me all of your money. I keep on losing it in various casinos accross the country but I just know that my luck is going to change. I just need to make one more bet. Just one more hand of blackjack or one more horserace. I feel it coming on like a toothache.

Thanks for all of the hospitality and for driving on the wrong side of the road and almost killing me everyday whilst I ramble aboot your streets. I must remember to look both ways before crossing. The other day I got hit by a taxi and fell down and peed my pants. Everyone laughed at me and I ran into a public bathroom and started crying. Then a little kid came up to me and threw a dirtclod in my ear.

I am excited for my return to Melbourne and I plan to take the whole club hostage and relocate them to a "farm" in an undisclosed location. I will force them to call me their leader and we will all grow beets and sell them to the White House because i don't think they are getting enough iron over there in Washington D.C. Plus I just want someone to call me their leader.

My new cd will be out on august 12. today i am wearing socks. The Padres are in last place in the National League West. I think I'll become a cricket fan for the rest of this season. I am glad I am alive. THANKYOU AUSTRALIA!

Yours truly,

Steven J J Poltz

Posted by steve at 11:58 AM | Comments (7)
May 13, 2003

flight fireworks

Hi everybody. Today i am going to take a little flight to Australia. I'll be the one flying Qantas so look for me over your neighborhood. Please don't tell anyone, but i am bringing fireworks on the plane with me. Everyone will be so happy when we are 40,000 feet in the air and i start lighting my bottlerockets with my sparklers. I am going to wait till they dim the lights for the movie and then surprise everyone. Imagine how happy they'll be. I bet the captain will give me some sort of special souvenir. Maybe a stuffed animal kangaroo thing. I'll try to take pictures for you guys.

If you would like to watch my show in sydney live on the internet then tune into

I'll be live in the studio as well as live on stage for my show. Their website will have all the details and a fancy time converter as well. I think Milan listed it on the discussion boards. I would like to thank milan for doing such a great job in bringing me down under. (that doesn't sound right) Milan's website is and he has been posting many of the newspaper clippings from press interviews where i lie about things to really nice Aussie journalists. I hope they don't find out or i am going to go straight to hell.

Jesse has been doing a bangup job on this here website. Today you will find some cool new schtuff to look at including a letter informing my poor parents of my dismissal from summer school. Can you believe i got kicked out of auto workshop? NO wonder my truck is broken dowm on the side of the highway somewhere in anaheim near Disneyland. What an idiot. There is also a letter I sent my folks in my third grade scrawl. I was somewhere in europe and clearly out of my mind. My poor parents. If i ever have kids they are probably going to torment me for my whole life as some sort of karmic payback.

Jesse also put in a video of me performing the song quarter inch at sxsw. Check it oot eh? You can find this in the section called "on with the shows."
He also added new photos in the "photology" section.

Also jesse has added a cool feature to the home page that allows you to make comments for the whole world to see.

Finally i would like to thank Cody Rush for being so cool over the years and being a great friend. He is the one who stared this website years ago. I just had breakfast with him yesterday and I hugged him really long and i think he felt uncomfortable. We both blushed and now he isn't returning my calls. I feel sort of bad about this but that feeling will go away.

cheers to all. Peace be with you...and also with you

steverino josephino joshuawahwahwah poltzification

Posted by steve at 5:06 PM | Comments (5)
May 12, 2003

Posted by rtwerk at 7:19 PM

from our basement to yours

I just wanted to point everyone to a recent note on the message boards from milan ( regarding steve's upcoming, live web broadcasts from Australia...

check his note here.

Posted by rtwerk at 6:51 PM | Comments (1)
May 6, 2003

here's a popup

Posted by steve at 4:20 PM | Comments (1)

Poltz dot blog

Well, Everyone. Welcome to the abridged launch of Poltz dot com. Has anyone seen the bridge?! How about Steve in Australia, last spotted freeloading belly rides from giant bunny-rabbit looking things. I fear for his medical career, what with pulling stunts like that. Sure he's limber from all that blood sweat and yoga... I just typed yoda, shoulda left it... but not I edit, I digress. Enjoy commenting! I'll be enabling more features slowly as we all gain momentum and get comfy with the new digs. Hope it works as well as I hope it to. That's a lot of hope. Or maybe it's just a car port of hope.
Posted by rtwerk at 11:45 AM | Comments (2)

Texas reading list


Actually, steve met someone at Taco Express in Austin, who happened to be reading both of these. Hard to doubt the wisdom of it, I s'pose.

Posted by rtwerk at 11:42 AM

available now!
Chinese Vacation
available now!
check out some tracks here
Digital Video Disc
Live at the Basement
Sydney, Australia

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You can check out
"On with the Shows"
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The discussion board
is alive and well.
Ditty du jour

here's a funny dispatch
from a past trip abroad...



There are more photos
past and present
in the section called


here's another letter
of a different nature


the cutest roughneck
that side of the rio grande


steve, do you want to add a post?
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