April 2004

April 27, 2004

what i did the other day





The other day I played a show in Perth and had a nap on the stage and then I caught a flight to Melbourne and went to a winery and chased a kangaroo all over the place until he kicked me really hard in the family jewels. Then I tormented some crazy looking Aussie bulls that looked Mongolian and they chased me up a tree. What did you guys do?

Thanks to Loxley Vineyards for the 4 bottles of cabernet. I still have one left. Oh wait--I just dranky it. mmm cabernet merlot blend. Me likey.

Sorry about the cancellation of the Tilley's show in Canberra. It weren't my fault. The silly lady who owns the club cancelled the show on me. I really really wanted to visit the ACT (AUstralian Capital Territory).

Their loss is Adelaide's gain. I added a show this Saturday night at Jive. It is a reprise to last week's show.

It sure was fun going out to the country. Thanks for the hospitality. Hiccup.

Steverwino Poltzy

Posted by steve at 8:47 PM | Comments (16)
April 23, 2004

should I eat this????


I just got home to my hotel from the show in Adelaide. This town rules! I am contemplating on whether or not I should eat this chicken schwarma kabab thingy with the spicy red sauce. Thanks everyone in A-Town for your new law that doesn't allow entertainers from the you-knighted states of America to purchase beers. You people are sick. I can't spend my money here. Every time I turn around someone is handing me a cerveza. This food may kill me but I need to catch an early flight to Melbourne for a show at a winery. This country is a mockery of a sham of a country posing as a country but really just wanting to have a good time. I am defecting tomorrow to the land of the Aussies.

Posted by steve at 11:21 AM | Comments (16)
April 22, 2004

kill bill


Yesterday when I woke up at 6 am I watched Kill Bill volume 1. Milan gave me a copy on dvd and demanded I watch it if I woke up early from jetlag. He also told me we would be going to see volume 2 at the theatre later that day , so if I wanted to know what was going on, I'd better watch the first one. What a way to spend the day. I didn't even have to wait like everyone else for volume 2. I got instant gratification. Q Tarantino is a superfreak. I looooved both episodes and can't wait to go buy music from the 5 6 7 8's.

Thanks for a great time in Melbourne last night. I am off to a soundcheck in Adelaide. (rhymes with lemonade, gatorade and you got played)
I'll write more tomorrow.



Posted by steve at 11:27 PM | Comments (8)
April 20, 2004

i feel so confident since my teeth whitening



Wow! There's nothing like a trip to the dentist. He told me what good care I've been taking of my teeth. Then he proceeded to drill a hole in the side of my mouth and he kept asking me "is it safe?" I was screaming bloody murder.
but seriously folks-- there is this place south of Perth called Margeret River and they make this chocolate there that will help you to be a better person. I am not kidding. I am high on it right now. I just took these pictures of me in a coffee house in Melbourne totally freaking out like a biker at a meth lab on his way to his cousin's Bar Mitzvah. (do bikers really go to Bar Mitzvahs?)
Woohoo! I loves me some sugar. Yeah yeah sugar's good. God gave me my sugar. Thankyou God. God is a sugar pusher. I want to go jump through the glass window in this coffee house. I think I can survive it without getting cut because sugar and God have now teamed up. Satan is nothing but a little brussle sprout with some dated crappy balsamic vinegar dripping out of his beady little eyes. I have God and sugar on my side. I am going to go kick a hole in the side of my guitar. I think Lola deseves it for being out of tune this morning.

Peace be with ya'll--and also with ya'll.

Reno sugar cane Poltzy

Posted by steve at 6:03 PM | Comments (25)
April 18, 2004

perthy poo


Milan makes me sick. he made me get up off of the couch because he wanted to take my picture with the stupid sunset. I was having the best time with the curtain shut, geeking out on my computer. He's always yelling at me and complaining. If I had a can of vegemite I'd throw it at his face and make him go to the emergency room then at least I wouldn't have to listen to him say "Come on, it's time for sound check" wawawa. But seriously folks Perth was absolutely fantabulistic (Hey if George Bush can say nukeyalur I can say fantabulistic) Perth reminded me of Baja California mixed with Mars. I remember when I was the first man to set foot on Mars, how freaked out everyone was. I hate it when people throw parades in my honor, especially ticker tape, it messes up my hair. Today I am in Melbourne and I'm going to go to yoga because I feel freaky deaky. I have had more cups of tea than a gnome in a crack house (do gnomes really drink tea? for that matter do they really smoke crack?)
Either way, I'm happy and I miss my mommy and daddy. waaaa
Please don't take my blankie away.
Steven "still getting my teeth in" Poltz
p.s. the reason this picture says may 17 2004 is because I am a time traveller and perth is a month ahead in the time zone. next month is really cool. I won American idol.

Posted by steve at 10:35 PM | Comments (16)
April 16, 2004

long time no see


okay okay alright okay! I know I have been out of touch lately and I hate that. I am sorry for not writing sooner but I am upside down under in Australia walking with the wombats and swilling Tooheys Lager. Lots of time on an airplane can drive a man insane. This is a photo Milan took and then I got all funky on photoshop on the plane. I was standing in front of the Vanguard in Newtown (a cool suburb of Sydney) waiting to go on stage. I wish all of you guys on the other end of the world could be here. It is so beautiful this time of the year. Thanks to all in Brisbane for 2 great nights at The Troubadour. I am going to start writing more now that I have figured out how to get online. Right now I am in Perth and it is already tomorrow. You guys are going to have a crappy day tomorrow because i have already seen it. You may as well stay in bed all day and paint your toenails and watch Jimmy Swaggert reruns.

Garageband rocks and I will figure out how to post some weirdness tomorrow.

Eat your vegemite you wankers.
G'day mateys,
Steven Cobber Poltz

Posted by steve at 2:41 AM | Comments (16)
April 4, 2004

take me oot the ballgame

As they say in canada; "take me oot the ballgame eh? take me oot to the crowd. buy me some beer eh? screw the crackerjacks just get me a beer eh or i'll puck ya in da mouth der eh boy." blah blah blah "fer it's 1--2--3 srikes yer oot at the old ball yaaard."

Last night I went to the new ballpark here in San Diego (I believe they call it Petco Park) and I watched my first game in our brand spankin' new home. My friend Mike Halloran is already calling it "BARK PARK" woof woof. Go Sheeba go! The Pads lost to the Seattle Mariners but I gotta tell ya. This new ballyard is way cool be most rad dude and schtuff. It is pretty neat to step off the trolly and see the park in the distance a couple blocks away. Yes it is true-- the prices are expensive for brewskis. I bought 2 and I had to wait for it to pass through ecsrow with a loan officer before I could start sipping er chugging. (But seriously folks--I'll be here all week. Try the buffet and good luck on the slots.)

I want to invite yous guys to come oot for a visit or as they say in Germany "a wisit" and eat a hot dog (mmm hot dogs) yeah baby I love pig particles. My doctor told me the other day I wasn't getting enough pork in my diet. So I've invented pork soap for the shower. It literally soaks into your pores and you smell like a pig all day. it is so awesome. Pork toothpaste and hair gel and face cream and pork q-tips for your ears. I am going to be so rich I'll buy Petco Park and rename it Pork Park. But I digress.

OK the new ballpark is cool and I got a little excited. I just bought a brand new 15" g4 powerbook from Apple and it has backlit keys. How freakin' cool is that g? Garageband rocks and I am making up disco songs this morning. I will post them in a couple days.

I wrote to the author of the Sammy Davis Jr book (Wil Haygood) and he wrote me back! I tracked him down through the Washington Post.
Here is the exchange:

Dear Wil,
I just read the final pages of your wonderful book and I couldn't stop the
tears. I rarely cry and I certainly didn't expect to be so moved by your
biography of Sammy. I had to write you to let you know. You really did him
justice and I learned so much about our history in this wild country. My
only complaint is that your novel had to end. I am a touring musician who
spends most of his time on the road and for me this book was inspiring and
sad and insightful. I can't wait to go search out old videos of Sammy. I
would love any suggestions you might have. The work you put into this
was amazing and you sure know how to paint a vivid moving picture of what
life was like for black artists back in the day. What a complex man was

I can't thank you enough. I am going to tell everyone I know to buy this

Steve Poltz

Then he writes:
Subject: RE: Just finished In Black And White!

steve, what a wonderful touching note you sent. bless you. i spent five
years on the book, practically upended my life to get it done. and the
effort pays off when i hear from someone as sensitive and understanding to
sammy's plight as you. if you can get your hands on a copy of a film called
A Man Called Adam, it would be worthy it. sammy plays a musician; cicely
tyson is in the cast. a million thanks to you, good man. wil

How cool is that? Wil Haygood wrote me back? He called me sensitive. I heard him talking aboot Sammy on NPR and I asked for his book for Christmas from my ma n pa. They told me to piss off and buy it myself. (just kidding mom and dad thanks for the book)

I know I rambled on and on but I leave tomorrow for Australia and it is a 19 hour flight. Yikes.

If you guys can think of a better nickname for Petco Park then Halloran's "Bark Park" then please submit them to moi.

I love you all. Don't forget to set your clocks ahead. Spring forward fall back or somthing like that.

Steveroni "Bacon Fat Face Cream" Poltz

Posted by steve at 9:47 AM | Comments (10)

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