RECENT NEWS

September 2004

September 26, 2004

Jesus, Mary and Tony Gwynn

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As the baseball season plays out its final act, I am stuck in my final stages of dementia. I put my Tony Gwynn doll next to Jesus and Mary and I light some Nag Champa and pray to the baseball Gods for some sort of divine intervention. I need a miracle gosh doggit! I yell at the t.v. and scream at the radio in my car. Why do I do it? Would The Padres yell for me? No they wouldn't is the answer I am looking for. But hey, I am o.k. with that. Usually before I go to sleep I put the Tony doll in front of Jesus and Mary and I walk across my floor wearing a pair of brown socks and I hop 3 times while facing the Pacific Ocean and I pull my left eyebrow out until air gets underneath my eyelid. This makes my eye feel dry and so I put my face under the sink and wet my eyeball with tepid water. I have to perform this ritual 4 times in 6 minutes or The Pads will lose. It is too much pressure and I want to stop doing it but I can't. I need some Ritalin and cough syrup. Help me please.

Love,

The Bat Child

Posted by steve at 12:02 AM | Comments (26)
September 25, 2004

do you shop at the mall?

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guy 1 says
Nobody really thinks the plant closure will affect us. I have a feeling it could be bad for boxer rebellion sales forces in Atlanta and half of the southern region. Several of the district managers have complained recently of pork pie duck liver reduction sauces. Word on the street has it that fern bars are back in style and before you know it dog walking will be illegal. Many people see shadows in their normal everyday walking routes. The feds are on to something big here. It is only a matter of time before this whole town will blow up like The Beatles.
guy 2 says
ummm. do you have any sort of idea how the feet work? I hear they have a mind of their own. My cousin once walked 3007 feet to get a beer in the middle of the night while in the midst of a dream. He woke up face down in his underwear in the house down the block next to Robert Downey Jr. It was kind of like a Twilight Zone episode except it really wasn't.

Next week lets open up a pilates gym and we'll call it Pontius Pilates pilates. Our trainers will have names like Herod, Archelaus and Judea.

Steve Steveson

Posted by steve at 4:09 AM | Comments (5)
September 21, 2004

cool hair dude

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Ahhh... I remember it well. I was traveling with The Rugburns through Arizona and we were in Phoenix. We got shut down by the club we were playing in and so we took the show outside just like Britney or Justin would do. We were rocking out and I don't know who was playing bass or where he was. If it was Johnny Castro then I guess he was looking for a veggie burrito or trying to find his shoes. If it was Gregory then I guess he was getting arrested for having some sort of illegal substance in his briefcase. I know we had just come from Tucson because this hairdresser talked me in to dying my hair. At the time I thought it was cool but now I realize i looked like a skunk. Those were the days my friend we thought they'd never end we'd sing and dance......

I am playing for exactly one hour only. From 8:20 to 9:20 pm this Sunday at The Tiki in Pacific Beach. All of the money goes toward putting guitars in classrooms for kids to play. Taylor Guitars is helping out by supplying tons of Baby Taylor guitars.

I am extremely excited about the Sycuan Casino show because I was informed that it is 18 and up. Pretty cool since I thought it was a 21 and up show.

The Padres still have a chance but it isn't looking good. We (I say we) need a miracle. The dodgers (note: lower case on purpose) and Giants both need to lose all of their remaining games and so do the Astros and Cubbies. And people in hell want ice water.

The Red Sox are behaving as expected. Sorry about that Westy and Dr. Leach.

Either way, October baseball rules. Football is stupid.

Love,

Steve


Posted by steve at 8:39 AM | Comments (11)

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