September 2005

September 18, 2005

conversations with the moon


Jeff Berkeley came up with this song title when we were in Australia. So Gregory Page and Jeff both have songs with the same title. Their songs are superb of course. Thanks Jeff for the idea. I heart you and need a 12 step program to ween myself off of you. I am a Berkaholic.
Here is the song I made up with that title.


Conversations With The Moon

My back aches my eyes are shot
My bodyís running a little bit hot
I miss what I canít see youíre far across the ocean from me
And theyíre driving on the wrong side of the road to me
Iím afraid to cross the street

So I got some numbers I can dial
To hear your voice to make me smile
But itís just wires without a face
My message floats in outer space

And I look up at the stars
Past the noisy rows of bars and Iím talking to the sky
Itís just conversations with the moon

Thereís a bonnet on my car
And a torch for when itís dark
But a heart is still a heart
And yours and mine are far apart

So I turn on my TV
Theyíre playing cricket in front of me
I donít understand a thing
And itís still yesterday back home

So I play a show to get some smiles
I travel tens of thousands of miles
Why do I do it every night
Because it just feels @#$%ing right!

And I look up at the stars
Past the noisy rows of bars and Iím talking to the sky
Itís just conversations with the moon

My back aches my eyes are shot
My bodyís running a little bit hot

Posted by steve at 11:48 AM | Comments (8)
September 15, 2005

watch steve's acceptance speech from new zealand

photo by liberace

Steve won an award for something in music or the music industry, and made his acceptance speech from New Zealand. He now refers to himself as the mud man. Ever since the mud man returned from New Zealand he is not right in the noggin. He thinks he lives in a mud cave in the rainforest and he sleeps and wallows around in mud all day. Apparently, he had a knife wielding woman accept his award on behalf of The Rugburns and then yelled at her when she did it wrong. He may have lost his mind along with his car keys and wallet and socks. Please watch the beginning of the demise of one man by clicking below. This was the video that was shown at The San Diego Music Awards ceremony via the wonders of the internet-a-rooni.


Posted by steve at 10:17 PM | Comments (10)
September 8, 2005

Breaking News!

George W. Bush appoints Steve Poltz to be The New Gilligan!


President George W. Bush shocked members of Congress today when he named Steve Poltz to be the new Gilligan. The announcement was made at 12 noon est. on the steps of The White House.

"Bob Denver was a fine American and a great songwriter," said The President. "I really like riding my bike while listening to Rocky Mountain High on my Ipod."

When The President was told he may be mistakenly referring to John Denver, the singer, he replied "don't tell me what I already know. I just like talking about John Denver."
When another reporter mentioned that the song Rocky Mountain High was possibly about marijuana use the President angrily snapped, "Condi! Why wasn't I apprised of this situation? Where is Dick Cheney? I am tired of answering these questions."

Just then White House Press Secretary Scott McLellen whispered in The President's ear and The President said, "What? Gilligan died? That is awful! Did he ever get off of that Island? Poor little feller. I liked him. I think I will make an executive decision and name Steve Poltz as the new Gilligan. I don't really like his music but he sure is goofy and dorky and I can see him either being Shaggy from Scooby Doo or Gilligan. Looks like it is going to be Gilligan!"

Calls to Steve Poltz were not returned. His agent released this statement:

Steve looks forward to working with The President as Gilligan but still wants to write songs. He is helicopter skiing in New Zealand this week and looking forward to playing a show at Bar Bodega in Wellington on Monday. He is waiting for The White House to fly him back the USA next week sometime.

Will wonders never cease? There were celebrations in the streets of Haiti today as Steve "supposedly" has a gold record over there. The people were chanting "Poltzy! Gilligan! Poltzy! Gilligan!"
Of course it was in a French accent so it sounded kind of funny and creepy at the same time.
ap reuters upi (new zealand, haiti, washington d.c.)

Posted by steve at 5:16 PM | Comments (17)
September 5, 2005

Farewell Australia Hello New Zealand

photo by kurt or curt (karen from quantas airlines boyfriend)

Peace be with you Australia... and also with you.

Man, we had a blast in the land of roos and vegemite. Every show had its own little personality. I am sure if you want copies of the shows Milan can help you. Write to him at [email protected] He will charge you aussie dollars and with the exchange rate you are losing money by not investing in these "pieces of art."

Jeff Berkely and Gregory Page came along for the ride and they wowed audiences every night with their witty banter and gay voices. I said gay. hee hee. They were so effing good that it made for the best package ever on the road. Do you remember when Sinatra toured with Eminem? It was even better than that. Do you remember the package on Tommy Lee? Better than that. We all sang together like birds eating yogurt out the hands of audience members. It sounded like we had yogurt in our throats when we sang. People joined together and hit each other in the face just to remind themselves in the morning that they were a part of it. I saw at least 30 chicks or sheilas and 40 dudes or blokes with black eyes. It was awesome to see.

Thanks are in order to Milan and Heather for making it happen. They mortgaged their house where they live in marital bliss and sold their dog to the circus. They are in debt and me and Gregory and Jeff feel really bad about it. (but that feeling will go away) Milan made Heather move in to their car and he sleeps on the floor at work. Milan really misses his dog. Thanks you guys. We love you. Heaps. Tons. Billions. Gazillions. SOD OFF YOU TOSSERS. Millie (Milan's sister) really did all the work.

New Zealand you say???? Why yes I do. I am in New Zealand right now typing this in some internet cafe in Queenstown. I went skiing today and I will do the same tomorrow in Wanaka. I will be playing a show on Monday September 12 in Wellington. Please fly down for that one night you bloody wankers. It will only cost you 12,000 dollars because you were too stupid to book your ticket 21 days in advance. Please go in to debt for me. Milan did it and he's still happy. I think. Come to think of it, I haven't heard from him. helloooo milan? are you there? come in milan. where are youuuu?

Bar Bodega Monday night. Wellington.

I miss all of you. Really I do. I think I will be back in The USA just in time to make it to Texas for some more shows.

Love and Kangaroo Meat,

Steven JJ Polazzz

Posted by steve at 10:19 PM | Comments (13)

available now!
Chinese Vacation
available now!
check out some tracks here
Digital Video Disc
Live at the Basement
Sydney, Australia

Sign up now
for the

You can check out
"On with the Shows"
for all concert dates.

The discussion board
is alive and well.
Ditty du jour

here's a funny dispatch
from a past trip abroad...



There are more photos
past and present
in the section called


here's another letter
of a different nature


the cutest roughneck
that side of the rio grande


steve, do you want to add a post?
home press merch tour music photos biography contact bulletin board