September 2006

September 21, 2006

I Wish the Wind Would Blow Me Back to You


Click here for a listen

I wish the wind would blow me back to
wish the wind would blow me back to
wish the wind would blow me back to you
The termites ate my memory
And I just cannot seem to see
Your face when you were so smiley
With eyes like lights on Christmas trees
Why do the good ones always leave and never give you warning?
The sun is hiding in the clouds I can't tell if it's morning
ahhh ahh ahhh ahh
2-4-6-8 who do we appreciate?
you are loved
The world goes on with newspapers
And mailmen and deliveries
But I just wanna stay inside
And get lost in my memories
Why do the good ones always leave and never give you warning?
The sun is shining down today I wish that it was pouring
ahhh ahh ahhh ahh
I wish the wind would blow me back to
wish the wind would blow me back to
wish the wind would blow me back to you

Posted by steve at 1:34 AM | Comments (21)
September 20, 2006

What a difference a day makes

It's so nice to be home where the sun shines and the birds chirp and the skies are not cloudy all day. Why just last night I went to the ball yard with Tim Bluhm (pictured above) and Nicki and Keith. Just like that the Pads are back in first. One day you're up and the next you're down. Pads win 5 to 2 over The Diamondbacks. If my team had lost I was ready to go out and shoot up a Luby's Cafeteria. Tim is in The Mother Hips and you should check 'em out. I love their music.
I did a couple interviews with the press in Chattanooga and I have a feeling that something good is going to happen. I like the way their name sounds over yonder. Sometimes I just say it over and over and over. Ch- CH- CH- Ch- CH 'Ch- Chattanoooooooooooogahhh! (bless you)
One of the interviews was a Q&A via email for the with Bill Colrus and here it is for your perusal:
Q-I usually only casually glance at press kits, but I must admit, your
press kit is quite impressive.
A- that's what all the men tell me.
Q-So, um, you met Elvis?
A-yeah. we met up at an airport in palm springs.
his hair was greasy and he was the richard nixon drug advisor or something.
he hugged my sister too long. i felt weird in my stomach until i thought i
i might be able to pimp her out for a record deal.
he talked to us for a spell and was funny. i think he liked being elvis.
Q- And you were Bob Hope's altar boy? His favorite one?
A- st. theresa's catholic church in palm springs.
he was an easter sunday catholic.
he always tipped me 5 or 10 smackeroos.
i worked his golf tournament raking the sand traps.
he would say, "there's my favorite altar boy!"
he had a nice sweater collection and he smelled like gin.
Q-What kind of candy did Liberace give out for Halloween?
A-snickers and mars bars. but not the little ones. big ones. full size.
his front steps were colored like piano keys and he wore a boa and had diamond rings on every finger. his chauffeur stood behind him at the door with bleach blonde hair and perfect white teeth.
sort of bay watchian before bay watch existed. a time traveller.

(I took a break here to go rob a 7-11)

Q- What was so dreary about selling pipe nipples?
A- the p.v.c. prices were unstable and it became a whores market.
my boss was an alcoholic who demanded too much of my time.
the factory emitted a plastic resin odor that hurt to breathe.
my lungs collapsed about 5 times and i ended up in the hospital
with tubes coming out of me. thank god the pipe nipple business
gave me medical insurance or i would have been lung-less and homeless.
other than that it was pretty fun.
Q- What, exactly, did you do to garner "San Diego's Most Influential
Artist of the Decade" honors? Have you ever played that zoo?
A- i was a write in candidate it was a fluke of floridian proportions.
if there were to be a proper re-count i would be dethroned.
but until that day comes i will wear the crown like a member of the bush oligarchy.
i've only played outside of the zoo. i was in love with a giraffe. i would stand on a ladder sing songs under the light of the moon..
Q- How does classical guitar training prepare you for making an album of
outgoing answering machine messages?
A- i know how to edit. the songs could only be 45 seconds.
most classical guitar pieces are 47 seconds. i just played them faster and voila- a cd was born.
Q-So, what was it about Jewel?
A- when i first met her, she described how she would cut me open and skin me. just like she used to do to cows on the homestead in alaska.
i thought that was sweet.
Q- Do you think she should get her teeth fixed?
A-only if they could make them look like liberace's chauffeur.
Q- Why is it better to have your own label than to be on somebody else's?
A-because when you sue the label for questionable financial practices you win even if you lose.
Q-Why is it worse?
A-because nothing ever gets done and you have nobody to yell at but yourself.
Q- Tell me about your new album.
A-it has songs about the golden era of pipe nipples. before the market went to the hyenas.
Q-Why, with all the exciting entertainment choices available in our crazy
world today, should people come see you?
A-because i give away money on stage.
you're losing money by not coming to see me.

Thanks, Steve! i think you're awesome (ok I steve poltz made up the "i think you're awesome" part but maybe he really did think I was awesome. It could happen.)

Bill Colrus
Editor, The Pulse

Thanks Bill. I am ready to rule Chattanooga with the force of Nikita Khrushchev.
From now on I must approve every article that comes out in your paper.
your friend forever and ever,
Steve Poltz

Posted by steve at 12:50 AM | Comments (4)
September 19, 2006

Last night's game made me sick

I've never seen anything like it in all my years of watching beisbol games. (not even with glasses on) I mean come on- the Dodgers hit four, (count 'em) 4 home runs in the ninth inning. I am talking back to back to back to back home runs. 4 in a row. I left The San Diego music awrds show in time to catch the last 5 innings of the game. I drove straight to a Mexican restaurant that was showing it and ordered a couple of chile rellenos and a glass of tea. I was cheering loudly and whooping and holllering into the bottom of the ninth inning because The Padres had a commanding 9 to 5 lead. Then lightening struck. As I watched the Dodgers tie the game iI wanted to throw my chair through the window. Then The Padres came back to score a run in the 10th and take a 10 to 9 lead only to squander it once again by giving up another round trippper in the bottom of the 10th to Nomar. A two run shot that killed us. My Dad is in Halifax Nova Scotia and I don't even want to call him. He will be laughing so hard and jumping up and down and I can't bear to hear it. I felt as though a stake was driven through my heart. This game is built to break your heart.

My friend Tim Flannery (the play by play announcer for The Padres) called me at the beginning of the season this year and left a message on my answering machine. In it he describes how a I pitch a no-hitter in the big leagues for the Pads. It hearkens back to better days. I listened to it last night all alone at 3 in the morning when I couldn't sleep because of illness and it almost made me smile. I would like to share it with you.


The padres have never had a no-hitter so it's fun to pretend that I threw the first and have our play by play guy call it. It still doesn't get rid of the sick feeing I have in my stomach today. I'll be at the game tonight. There's always tonight. There are only 13 games left in the regular season.
Somebody send me some crisis counseling type people.
yours is crisis,

Posted by steve at 8:48 AM | Comments (20)
September 18, 2006

Is that a turd or a pickle?

The sky was raining turds and Wal Mart had no umbrellas to protect against this sort of thing. Turds were dropping like pickles from the heavens above, shattering windshields and making a lot of unecessary paperwork for insurance companies everywhere. Corporate was beginning to get really angry because their annual budget for the company getaway to a nude resort in Aruba was being severely slashed. People wanted some sort of assurance that the turds would stop falling from the sky. That's where I come in- ya see; I used to play a little sand lot ball when I was a kid and I've been told by several truck stop waitresses that I have pretty nice hands.
So I guess I'm going to go to the cities listed above as some sort of a modern day court jester/troubadour. I will juggle turds and sing sea chanteys to the those in need of crisis counseling. If you don't see your city listed above then please tell me where the turds are dropping from your vantage point and I will try to be there to save the day. Just a simple suggestion or prodding will do. For instance: "Steve, will you please come to Canada? Toronto to be specific. Why do you neglect the country of your birth?" Then I will point my lovely managers, lawyers and booking agent in your direction to get the ball of turd
rolling along.
Life is too long to not do what you want,
Me (Steve) (Joe) (Josh) (Poltz)
P.S. The Padres are back in first for a day

Posted by steve at 3:52 PM | Comments (22)
September 17, 2006

Does this mean Jesus will deliver bratwurst?

Brats Fish Chix and Mushroom Onion Melts?
That is so cool. I was in Breckenridge Colorado driving home from a show and I saw this sign at A&W. I was so happy I pulled in and had a root beer. At first I thought that Jesus would deliver me some food but when I asked at the counter they said no. I was bummed and told them it was false advertising but they weren't having it. I told them that I thought it would boost sales if I could be watching some Sunday NFL with my friends and then the doorbell would ring and there would be Jesus with bag full of brats. I would be the hero and everyone at the party would high five me. Me and Jesus would talk about The Chargers and world peace and the new season of Jericho.

They escorted me out of A&W to my van and asked me to leave. For the record, the mushroom onion melt was very tasty. I think I'll go google the recipe.

Thanks for the good times in Portland last night. A long show. Too long. But lots of laughter and Mississippi Studios is one of my favorite places ever to play a show. If you should find yourselves in Portland, stop by and see a show there. They brew it right!
Love to all,
Potz i mean Poltz

Posted by steve at 7:44 PM | Comments (8)
September 9, 2006

It's chili season in New Mexico

It's chili season in New Mexico and Billy Harvey says I am running for President. Is this a photo-op or what? We spent the night on the Billy's Granfather's plantation. (that's what I call it) His Grandpa must have been watching from up in heaven because we got the star treatment. The people in the picture below have a once a year chili fest where they peel chilis for the upcoming year. I had to get in on that action. Gloves are a must or you will burn your skin to smithereens. After we peeled them one of the ladies made us burritos for the road. I have never tasted anything so scrumptious. I think you should rent a car and drive through New Mexico this time of year. The scenery is stunning.

I had such a fun show in Phoenix! I want to send a huge smile out to the Arizona peeps for coming out to The Rhythym Room for a 3 hour show. My voiced is trashed but it was worth it. More later.
The mountains of Colorado are calling me.


Posted by steve at 9:42 AM | Comments (14)
September 8, 2006

My day as a rockstar

me n pilot bob.jpg
The other night I played a show in Pioneertown ( Joshua Tree) with Billy Harvey
and then we came home to my parent's house for 2 a.m. lasagna. My mama maka da good lasagna. Then we had rocky road ice cream. My mom is in love with Billy.
Then I woke up early and 94.1 the radio station with Jeff and Jer sent a
private plane to pick me up in Palm Springs and fly me to San Diego to be on
the morning show. They sent a limo to the airport and whisked me in to the
station to sing and then sent me back to the desert in time to have
breakfast with Billy and my Mom and Dad.

The pilot of the plane was so funny. He was poet named Bob who recited me
dirty poems and ant- war poems and love poems and old folk songs. He told me he had crashed 3 planes and that he would be in the bar waiting for me.
One time he said he forgot to lower the landing gear. My heart was beating so fast I felt like a hummingbird. Good times!
More later gator.

Posted by steve at 9:32 AM | Comments (14)

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