Teenage Zombie
I ain’t taking no for an answer listen to me now
My basement is a shelter its raining dogs and cats and cows
I been up for twenty days and 20 lonely nights
My eyes are just as baggy as an anorexic wearing tights
(a stickman wearing tights)
There’s fleas inside my veins and I’m itching from within
My carpet’s full of stains better call the next of kin
I got tin foil on my windows and I’ve saved my fingernails
In jars next to my urine and blood in plastic pails
The bowling alley will not let me rent some bowling shoes
My feet have lots of blisters I haven’t paid my dues
My children have abandoned me they really think I’m dead
I’m nothing but a zombie with a teenager in my head
The fact that I can’t hold my liquor doesn’t mean a thing
I got ulcers on my blisters filled with pussy rings
I got tin foil on my windows and I’ve saved my fingernails
In jars next to my urine and blood in plastic pails
This bird is beautiful eh? Painted by the Zach's wife. I didn't catch her name last night. They own the cool place I played in Rossland, BC. It's called The Old Firehall and what a time we all had. The Kootenays are a beautiful this time of the year. I suppose they're beautiful anytime of year. I've met some great people like Mark and Jane who let Modl and I crash at their cool house on bunk beds with Star Wars sheets. I met them through my tour mates Little Miss Higgins and we're playing music and cooking great food. Life is good.
If you ever find yourself in Cave Creek, Arizona I suggest you stop by Cave Creek Coffee Roastery and say hi to Dave. He owns the crazy swinging dogs and lets me come by his place a roast coffee. Michael works with him and roasts the beans all day. I've got a couple more Canada shows to play and then I'll see you somewhere.
Remember this quote:
"Never love a wild thing... you can't give your heart to a wild thing: the more you do, the stronger they get. Until they're strong enough to run into the woods. Or fly into a tree. Then a taller tree. Then the sky. That's how you'll end up... If you let yourself love a wild thing. You'll end up looking at the sky."
I'll train your dogs to swing like Sinatra and Liberace. They'll swing like playground tether balls and yap at each other like New Years revelers at 4 am in a Denny's parking lot fistfight. They'll listen like thieves trying crack a safe in the back of a Catholic Church in the middle of mass. They'll sleep like sedated patients after getting wisdom teeth extractions. They'll behave like Manchurian Candidates hypnotized by Communist witch doctors. They'll wait quietly while you carve the roast beast as your dinner guests' mouths water impatiently while you tell bad jokes. They'll poo outside like wild apes and protect your borders from illegal aliens and peeping Tom paperboys high on glue from building model airplanes in the garages of Grandfathers everywhere. In short, they'll be the best friend you could ever ask for.
Yes it's true. I'm an old man now. And I'm a bad, bad man. I've ignored my blog like it's a stinky fishwife. Why would a drunken fisherman leave his wife? She stood by his unreliable side for decades. He turned his back on her for Twitter. Now I'm old and lonely and I want my blog back. Like a shameful hungover husband I crawl back in bed beside this blog and I ask for frogiveness. I throw myself in front of the mercy of the frogs that run this world and I scream " I need frogiveness. I need frogiveness. Ribbet! Ribbet! " Help me! Soylent Green is people.
The world is getting to be a better place. Can you feel it? I feel good and tingly like a lottery winner. All because Tom Waits has a newsstand in Nelson BC.
This guy wins the award for best hair ever in the whole wide world. I went on a search and I finally found the winner.
